Jokes Ready for kids?

This will be critiqued by me. A parent of 3 and a half years.

In the entire 3.5 yrs, the worst messes were left by my daughters mother, not my daughter. Since I've been a single parent, the typical things I've dealt with are the following:

some crumbs on the living room carpet
a cocoa puff, cheerio or two in the couch (found while cleaning)
a slight spill in the kitchen

my child understands that messy foods stay in the kitchen, a fact i've reminded her of on several occasions and remind her of when she gets something messy. she also understands, you wreck daddy's shit, he'll wreck your ass. discipline is all it takes.

While this is funny, its also not always the case, unless you happen to have kids that are fucking monsters, but that would be your fault now wouldn't it? I have to admit, I have stepped on a lego, single mind you that happened to be sitting around... my daughter 100% of the time picks up 99% after herself. No one is perfect. Also, a good loud scream will not wake your child if you don't baby the shit out of them. Carry on business as usual during the first 6months to a year and your child would sleep through a bomb dropping in the back yard... (normal business includes: stereo and tv levels that you normally would use regardless if a kid was around or not... not blasting but not quiet. running the vacuum during naptime, talking normally and not whispering...) sheltering your kids does not work the way you think it will.

Bullshit. My child so much as gets whiney in the store, she knows she's in for it. She smiles, makes comments and either rides in the cart or keeps at my side at all times. If she leaves my side, she knows it will not be a pleasant afternoon any longer. Once again, discipline is key.

whatever... youre parent, they are child... if they understand this, they will get dressed without issues... yes you have your bad days, but 95% of them will be happy and easy to dress your child. here we go again.... discipline is key.

see above about getting dressed.

Perhaps for the first 6-12 months (12 months is stretching it). however, its not quite as bad as portrayed above... regardless... once its over, you'll have lost so much sleep along the way you wont even remember it ever happened... it rocks.

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now, key point about discipline... this does not mean beat your child sensless... this means teaching your child, using whatever method to instill a sense of discipline. Just like the martial arts experts who have trained themselves to practice every day, you can train your child to act like a human being.

This (as DeebsTundra and just about everyone else I know personally will vouch for) is something that just pisses me off. When parents don't parent their children. It's not about letting them destroy the house, act like monkies and terrorize or shelter them from the world... its about teaching them to have control over their lives at an early age. I know kids that are complete animals and they drive me nuts. They scream, they yell, they kick, they destroy, they talk back, they whine, they throw fits, they demand, etc.... not *MY* child. Mine asks, thanks you and does what she's told 90% of the time (10% of the time she pushes the limit just a little to see if I'm still paying attention). She's a happy child, friendly, social, tough and most of all polite. What did it take and what will it take to continue this behavior? Spending time and being a parent. That's all. Fuck people who just think this is the way kids are. They aren't unless they've got severe mental disabilities and due to such cannot behave normaly. hell, even some of those act better than *some* kids I know.

** end of rant **