Tech I've got computer problems

1337Rolla · Sep 19, 2005

I've got computer problems

I've been having a horrible time with some software on my system. I finally complained to tech support:

Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as Ladsnightout 3.1, Football 4.5, and Ogle 6.9. Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. I tried a Shareware programme, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually, I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that these two systems detected each other, they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I then upgraded to FiancÃ©e 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends you & uses up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus vX. and Cleanhouse 2005. Shortly after this upgrade however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. Then they resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-Mail filter, and can, without warning launch Turbostrop and Whinge. These latter products have no help files, and I have to guess what the problem is. Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring Shoeshop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child processes that drain my reserve resources. These conflict with some of the new games I wanted to try out, warning me that they are an illegal operation. Also when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT hard drive, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called Motherinlaw (an old version), which can't be turned off. Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2005.1., but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact, that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2005.1., it tends to delete all of your money before uninstalling itself & auto-rebooting your system.

Any Ideas welcome.

Then this is all they could respond with

Dear Software Member,

This is a common scenario we often see, here at the Pub HelpBar. The only answer we have is to "move on" and put all this history behind you. If Wife 1.0 has caused a re-boot, do not attempt to re-load it. Buy an Antivirus program like Divorce 4.01 or Separation 3.12, they can be solicited from most high street premises, these programs can be expensive to buy and very complex to set up, but they are the only means to get peace of mind and a stable system. They come with a firewall that protects you from further attacks from both Wife 1.0 and the Mother-in-law pop-up.

You may find some vestiges of Wife 1.0 still on your system, as Divorce 4.01 takes several months to resolve all conflicts. If this is the case and you happen to re-find FreeSexPlus vX, do not run this program. It has a built-in virus that can automatically self-install Wife 1.1. Note that Cleanhouse 2005 runs in conjunction with wife 1.0 and will not run without it. You will have to resort to manually tidying your files.

It must be said that others in your situation have just gone out and purchased Wife 2.0 and even Wife 3.0, although these seem to be upgrades and a far better product, they are the same routine and have the same bugs that degrade the program over time. As Divorce 4.01 is an OEM version, it cannot be run again, so each time you purchase a higher version of Wife, you have to buy a new instance of Divorce 4.01 each time. To avoid further problems we recommend that you try to find New Mates 5.0, its sometimes hard to get hold of but well worth installing if you find it. Some opt to take there mind of their problems by running games like Beer Stupor V12.0 Pints and Betting Your Shirt 3.0.

These may seem like harmless fun, but they can be very addictive, leading to possible RSI and kidney processor failure and auto loggoff of your Bank account. As for fulfilling your other system requirements the only programs you can load are Celibacy 1.0 and manually load Masturbation Self Test batch file as required. Running Prostitute 6.9 can sometimes relieve system stresses and freeware Flirtation 1.0 can be enjoyable as a temporary fix but is very unstable and can lead to the unwanted installation of generic copies of Girlfriend 1.0

We strongly recommend you install Drinking Mates 4.3 which has just been released as a bundle with BeerCase & Lads Night in 2.21 and shareware Rugby and Cricket 2005

So I guess I'll upgrade to the latest version of drinking mates

statik · Sep 20, 2005

AAAAAAhaha.... Thats funny. Made me laugh today...

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Tech I've got computer problems

1337Rolla oh my

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