Jokes gary

gary

Gary's at the bar, drinking with his buddies as usual. Before he knows it, he's blacked out again.

Suddenly, he sees a light at the end of a dark tunnel, and a voice calling, ""Gaaaryyy, Gaaarry..."

He reaches the light, and sees St. Peter. St. Peter says to him, "Gary, you're a drunk. But you're a good man. You can choose to live your next life as any animal you so please."

Gary thinks for a minute and then says, "I'd like to be a chicken. All they have to do is walk around all day, eat, and mate. No predators to worry about." *POOF* St. Peter turns Gary into a chicken.

Gary is in a sublime state: He runs around the yard, pecking at the abundant feed strewn about for him, loving the absolute lack of responsibility.

All of a sudden, he feels a tremendous urge in his nether regions. He strains and strains, and all of a sudden *POP*! He's laid an egg!

Gary is ecstatic. This is the most profound feeling he has ever felt: he has created life! He stares at his creation, marvelling at its oblong perfection. He feels the urge again, and is eager to squeeze out yet another life. He clenches, and pushes as hard as he can.

Suddenly, he feels a sharp pain in his ribs.

Gary awakens in his bed, with his wife Sarah punching him in the ribs.

"Gary, you drunk stupid asshole, wake up! You're shitting the bed!"

Hahahhahaha

hehhe....this is a good one...