Jokes Dear Santa

Dear Santa

>> > >>Dear Santa,
>> > >>
>> > >>I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all
>> >yeer.
>> > >>
>> > >>yer Frend, BiLLy
>> > >>
>> > >>Dear Billy,
>> > >>
>> > >>Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How
>> about
>> >I
>> > >>send you a friggin' book so you can learn to read and write? I'm
>> >giving
>> > >>your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell!
>> > >>
>> > >>Santa
>> > >>_________________________________________________________________
>> > >>___
>> > >>Dear Santa,
>> > >>
>> > >>I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
>> >peace
>> > >>and joy in the world for everybody!
>> > >>
>> > >>Love, Sarah
>> > >>
>> > >>Dear Sarah,
>> > >>
>> > >>Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
>> > >>
>> > >>Santa
>> > >>_________________________________________________________________
>> > >>Dear Santa,
>> > >>
>> > >>I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for
>> > >>my
>> >mommy
>> > >>and daddy to get back together. Please ! see what you can do?
>> > >>
>> > >>Love, Teddy
>> > >>
>> > >>Dear Teddy,
>> > >>
>> > >>Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a
>> >hurricane.
>> > >>Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid
>> mom,
>> >who
>> > >>rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me
>> get
>> >you
>> > >>some nice Legos instead.
>> > >>
>> > >>Santa
>> > >>_________________________________________________________________
>> > >>_
>> > >>Dear Santa,
>> > >>
>> > >>I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog,

>> > >>a
>> >drum
>> > >>kit, a pony and a tuba.
>> > >>
>> > >>Love, Francis
>> > >>
>> > >>Dear Francis,
>> > >>
>> > >>Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay, I'll
>> > >>set
>> you
>> >up
>> > >>with a Barbie.
>> > >>
>> > >>Santa
>> > >>_________________________________________________________________
>> > >>Dear Santa,
>> > >>
>> > >>I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left
>> > >>carrots
>> for
>> > >>your reindeer outside the back door.
>> > >>
>> > >>Love, Susan
>> > >>
>> > >>Dear Susan,
>> > >>
>> > >>Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my face
>> when
>> > >>riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a
>> > >>bottle
>> of
>> > >>scotch.
>> > >>
>> > >>Santa
>> > >>________________________________________________________________
>> > >>Dear Santa,
>> > >>
>> > >>What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy
>> > >>making
>> >toys?
>> > >>
>> > >>Your friend, Thomas
>> > >>
>> > >>Dear Thomas,
>> > >>
>> > >>All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I
>> spend
>> > >>most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by
>> > >>drinking
>> >myself
>> > >>silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing
>> >money at
>> > >>the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
>> > >>
>> > >>Santa
>> > >>________________________________________________________________
>> > >>Dear Santa,
>> > >>
>> > >>Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're
>> >awake,
>> > >>like in the song?
>> > >>
>> > >>Love, Jessica
>> > >>
>> > >>Dear Jessica,
>> > >>
>> > >>Are you really that gullible or are you just a blonde? Good luck
>> > >>!
>> in
>> > >>whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
>> > >>
>> > >>Santa
>> > >>_______________________________________________________________
>> > >>Dear Santa,
>> > >>
>> > >>I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please
>> > >>PLEASE
>> >PLEASE
>> > >>could I have one?
>> > >>
>> > >>Timmy
>> > >>
>> > >>Timmy,
>> > >>
>> > >>That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap
>> >doesn't
>> > >>work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
>> > >>
>> > >>Santa
>> > >>________________________________________________________________
>> > >>Dearest Santa,
>> > >>
>> > >>We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our
>> > >>home?
>> > >>
>> > >>Love, Marky
>> > >>
>> > >>Mark,
>> > >>
>> > >>First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting
>> > >>your
>> >ass
>> > >>whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in

>> > >>a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just
>> > >>like
>> the
>> > >>boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.
>> > >>
>> > >>Sweet Dreams,
>> > >>
>> > >>SANTA CLAWS!!!!

The Scotch one made me laugh at loud at work.

hahaha these are nice ones man lol