Jokes Another man / woman joke (long-ish)

JLee · Mar 8, 2006

Another man / woman joke (long-ish)

Courtesy of an old friend / former co-worker:

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....

jtweezy · Mar 8, 2006

lol

teevee247 · Mar 8, 2006

Heard this one before... but always cracks me up, thanks

oppositesleeper · Mar 9, 2006

my fiance was sitting over my shoulder reading too, and at the end i got hit...
:superconf ...........woman...

JLee · Mar 9, 2006

oppositesleeper said: ↑

my fiance was sitting over my shoulder reading too, and at the end i got hit...
:superconf ...........woman...

LOL!

DaCubanSkillz · Mar 9, 2006

lol..I've red that before and its still good to read! lol.

Rolla95 · Mar 9, 2006

hah, classic

SlowRolla97 · Mar 9, 2006

Haha, awesome.

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Jokes Another man / woman joke (long-ish)

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Jokes Another man / woman joke (long-ish)

JLee TD05 3SGTE

jtweezy New Member

teevee247 Well-Known Member

oppositesleeper New Member

JLee TD05 3SGTE

DaCubanSkillz Active Member

Rolla95 Rollin' Out y0

SlowRolla97 New Member

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