Jokes Paolino's bad joke of the day

Paolino's bad joke of the day

The family wheeled Grandma out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the activities for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma couldn't speak very well, but she could write notes when she needed to communicate.

After a short time out on the lawn, Grandma started leaning off to the right, so some family members grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right.

A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again
the family grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left.

Soon she started leaning forward, so the family members again grabbed her then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up.

A nephew who arrived late came up to Grandma and said, "Hi, Grandma, you're looking good! How are they treating you?" Grandma took out her little notepad and slowly wrote a note to the nephew... (see note below)















"They won't let me fart."

Hahaha, sorta funny

Lol, that was funny. I have one my friend told me last week.

The airforce was worried about the effects birds hitting the canopy on thier Mach 1 jets. They developed a canon to shoot chickens at the planes to see how well they would hold up. Britain was running into the same issue when developing thier bullet trains that they asked the US to borrow thier chicken canon so that they could run some tests as well. The results were frightening. The chicken smashed through the trains canopy and left a hole in the engineer's seat before getting lodged in the back wall of the next car. Disturbed by their discovery, the Britains sent all of thier findings and data to US and asking them for assistance. They sent a reply back a single line reply (scroll down).





















Defrost the chicken.

I heard somewhere that it was actually true... the chicken one...

LOL You know the Myth Busters did something like that if I remember. Made a chicken gun or something and fired frozen and unfrozen chickens at panes of glass. The frozen one rifled through all of them I remember corrctly.

vamp..that actually happened..its not a joke per say..

Really? Lol, I would love to see the article for that.

Three guys find a Genie...

Three guys -- a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden, and an American engineer -- are working together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes total" says the Genie.

The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." Poof! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.

Osama bin Ladin was amazed, so he said; "I want a wall around Afghanistan so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious country." Poof! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.

The American engineer asks, "I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall". The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 5000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out -- it’s virtually impenetrable."

The American engineer says, "Fill it with water."

ahahha ohhh man.

hahahahaha

Bubba

>> >> Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty
>> >> badly. The morgue needed someone to identify the
>> >> body, so they sent for his two best friends, Daryl
>> >> and Gomer.
>> >> The three men had always done everything together.
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> Daryl arrived first, and when the mortician pulled
>> >> back the sheet, Daryl said, "Yup, his face is burnt
>> >> up pretty bad. You better roll him over." The
>> >> mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, "Nope,
>> >> ain't Bubba." The mortician thought that was rather
>> >> strange.
>> >>
>> >> Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer
>> >> took a look at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty
>> >> well burnt up. Roll him over." The mortician rolled
>> >> him over and Gomer said, "No,
>> >> it ain't Bubba." The mortician asked, "How can you
>> >> tell?"
>> >>
>> >>
>> >>
>> >> Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes."
>> >> "What? He had two assholes?!" said the mortician.
>> >> Yup, everyone knew he had two assholes.
>> >> Every time we went to town, folks would say,
>> >> "Here comes Bubba with them two assholes."