A letter to Honda drivers

A letter to Honda drivers

Saw this on my 4x4 forum and died laughing, so I figured I'd spread the love around here.


Dear Honda owners,
I don't want to race you.

That's right, I'm un-interested in trying to challenge you and your faux supercar in a drag race between stoplights downtown. I don't know why you all feel the need to glare at me while the light is red. You don't have to change your grip on the steering wheel like its a pair of motorcycle handlebars, either. You especially don't need to rev your four-cylinder with its loud exhaust system because you might tempt me to want to race you.

I don't.

What really gets me, though, is with the abundance of similarly craptastic hondas out there, why do you want to race me? The way I figure it, you want to race everything in sight. My Jeep has less than 200 horsepower and the aerodynamics of a barn. However, I suppose the near-verticle air dam which is my windshield isn't neccesarily discouraging to someone who puts a god-damn wing on the back of a front wheel drive car. More downforce for the rear wheels then, eh? That way you can accelerate faster, right? Great work, dipshit.

But seriously. I don't get it. I don't ask you to go drive trails with me. I don't wave and say 'lets go haul ass through a mud pit'. Sure, I spend about as much time off pavement as you do on the track, but at least I can tell the difference between a race car and a 4x4. Does my Jeep look like a challenge or something? Do you and your honda friends get together and say 'Dood! I just beat that Jeep with the big tires and low gears! I'm so fast!'

The way I figure it, your car sucks so much, you can't beat any of the other Hondas, and sure as hell don't want to admit defeat. Instead of buying a genuinely fast car, you choose to get your rocks off racing easy vehicles in your piece of shit. Way to go, badass! I'm proud of you! Why don't we get together and beat up some kids later. I'll let you sucker punch a baby. It will be hard core.

Seriously, though. Please, please, the next time you see me, or any other non-challenging vehicle at a light, don't antagonize them and encourage them to 'race.' Instead, pull your head our of your ass, and realize that your hatchback is probably faster than a minivan, delivery truck, recreational vehicle, bicycle, u-haul, and other similar underpowered non/aerodynamic vehicles. Oh, and don't forget, you're probably faster than me, too.

Go play some more Gran Turismo, and quit being a jackass.

Seen it already. I think it was originally from a supra forum.

hehe true,true.

i have never had anyone try to race me in my tC. but i did get some "woah, check out that scion" looks in the parking lot when 4 riced out hondas drove by me.

maybe it's just me, but i don't race anyone. i have no interest. i bought my car because it's a great deal, good on gas, and fast when it needs to be. it's seems like honda owners are always out there with something to prove. same goes for mustang owners

The worst part, the guy must have the 4.0 V6 with 190hp, and he could probably beat most stock civic's out there (or stock performance, like rice), lol...

I had this exact thing happen to me on the highway the other day, except it was a crappy Camero Z28 with a couple guys in it. I'm driving along at like 70 and they pull up alongside and look over at me (totally stock '98 Cherokee). I'm like, what, want to race my stock Jeep? Dumbasses.

should of hand him a demotion in the honda rankings.

That's what I need to do to my Jeep

CB use to have a 4 banger stang

see thats exactly why I want a turbo... for those faces...

me too...but that's way out of my league right now

I'm planning on it, 4.6 stroker first, then a turbo (large single).

you inspire me.....

fuck yea he did, i want a turbo

last night me and my friends were cruising in his 95 Yukon and we got up tot he light and this stupid honda civic with Si emblems wanted to race so we raced. and the sd part is that we kept up withhis ass and then beat him as soon as third gear entered. he kept revving his engine like hell because he lost.When we first told him,It's a truck going against a cr he was like,"so i don't give a shit" then we asked if it really was an Si and he just kept his mouth shut.my friend was like WTF. it a SUV Vs a Car, A coupe for that matter. It messed up how people with trucks want to race cars (some are very fast mind you) and vice versa. We als raced a 94 Lincoln Towncar and raped that mofo pretty bad. everyone thought we had a 350 or bigger but it was a 305 with peformance gears and 4WD but it wasn't turned on.

stop hating on hondas

You have one of the best honda's ever made though

just the slow ones who think theyre fasst

i love the s2000 everything else honda is crap when it's riced out. except the insight, that thing is cool

my car is the definition of riced out. someone took a civic, chopped the top off, put ricey dual exhausts on it, 'saved weight' by adding no true aminities (SP), no traction control, climate control, just a bare bones honda ricer with a red interior for all the show boys. and dont let the look fool you, its only a four banger inside without enough torque to hang with a true american car like the ford taurus.

So your saying your S2000 can't hang with a Ford Taurus?

True American Mistake. lol I've driven the tauras before, nothing impressive, even the STO or whatever it is...

Depends on the race really. The S2000's do really, (I repeat) REALLY well in Auto'X and IMO would outhandle the taurus any day of the week...

LMAO I love that part.

oh man, i was so joking.

...oh.
oops. LOL

Uhaul :d Rocks!!!!!

s2000 is one sexy bitch

lol...

that and the ridgeline