Jokes Did you know... (lots of useless Alabama laws)

Did you know... (lots of useless Alabama laws)

Find more at http://www.crazylaws.com/

Did you know that in Alabama:

• It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.
• It is illegal to stab yourself to gain someone's pity.
• It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
• It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.
• Jasper: It is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.
• Lee County: It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.
• Masks may not be worn in public
• Montgomery: It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of it spooking horses.
• Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.
• You cannot chain your alligator to a fire hydrant.
• You may not drive barefooted.
• You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.


In California:

A city ordinance states that a $500 fine will be given to anyone who detonates a nuclear device within city limits.
• Alhambra: You cannot leave your car on the street overnight without the proper permit.
• Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
• A regulation in San Francisco makes it unlawful to use used underwear to wipe off cars in a car wash.
• Arcadia: Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways.
• A server in California can be convicted of selling to a minor if the purchaser uses a false or altered ID to buy the alcohol.
• Baldwin Park: Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
• Bathhouses are against the law.
• Belvedere City Council order reads: "No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash."
• Blythe: You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.
• Burlingame: It is illegal to spit, except on baseball diamonds; Carmel Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk. (Repealed when Clint Eastwood was mayor); Women may not wear high heels while in the city limits.
• California only fairly recently legalized the sale of alcoholic beverages in nudist colonies.
• Car wash attendants in San Francisco, California may not use old pairs of underware to wash or dry vehicles.
• Chico: Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine.
• Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.
• Downey: It is illegal to wash your car in the street. (Passed 1995).
• Giving or receiving oral sex is prohibited.
• Hollywood: It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.
• In 1838, the city of Los Angeles passed an ordinance requiring that a man obtain a license before serenading a woman.
• In Los Angeles courts it is illegal to cry on the witness stand.
• In Berkeley, Calif., you can't whistle for an escaped bird before 7 a.m.
• In 1930, the City Council of Ontario passed an ordinance forbidding roosters to crow within the city limits.
• In an animal shelter, lizards and snakes are treated under the same guidelines as cats and dogs.
• In Baldwin Park, California nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
• In California, community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to try and stop a child from playfully jumping over puddles of water.
• In California it is illegal to have caller ID
• In California it's against regulations to let phones ring more than nine times in state offices.
• In California you may not set a mouse trap without a hunting license.
• In California, selling a gold piece without tooth marks in it is considered forgery.
• In California, animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.
• In Los Angeles, years ago it was legal to cook in your bedroom, but not to sleep in your kitchen.
• In Los Angeles a man is legally entitled to beat his wife with a leather belt or strap, but the belt can't be wider than 2 inches, unless he has his wife's consent to beat her with a wider strap. Consent should be given prior to the event, as is carefully stipulated.
• In Los Angeles, you cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.
• In the 1940's, California law made it illegal to serve alcohol to a gay person.
• In Riverside, California, kissing on the lips, unless both parties wipe their lips with carbonized rose water, is against the local health ordinance. (Someone needed to be kissed!)
• In San Francisco it's illegal to play poker in public or gamble in a barricaded room.
• In San Francisco, it's illegal to beat a rug in front of your house.
• In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.
• It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
• It is a violation of the California Alcoholic Beverage Control Act for producers of alcohol beverages to list the names of retailers or restaurants that sell their products in advertising or even in newsletters.
• It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent.
• It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.
• It is illegal to cry on the witness stand.
• It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.
• It is illegal to eat an orange in your bath tub
• It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner.
• It is illegal to set a mouse trap without a hunting license.
• Lafayette: You are forbidden to spit on the ground within 5 feet of another person.
• Lodi: It is illegal to own or sell "Silly String".
• Lompoc: It is illegal to posses, own or raise roosters. This is considered disturbing the peace.
• Long Beach: Cars are the only item allowed in a garage; It is illegal to curse on a mini-golf course.
• Los Angeles law forbids hunting moths under a street light.
• Los Angeles: It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent; You cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time; You may not hunt moths under a street light; It is illegal to cry on the witness stand; Toads may not be licked; It is a crime for dogs to mate within 500 yards of a church (Breaking this law is punishable by a fine of $500 and/or six months in prison); Zoot suits are prohibited.
• Many animals are illegal to own as pets, including snails, sloths, and elephants.
• Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine.
• No alcohol beverages can be displayed within five feet of a cash register of any store in California that sells both alcohol and motor fuel.
• No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.
• Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.
• Oakland, Calif., makes it illegal to grow a tree in front of your neighbor's window and block his view. However, you're off the hook if the tree is one that town officials consider an attractive tree, such as a redwood or box elder.
• One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock.
• Ontario: Roosters may not crow in the city limits.
• Pacific Grove: Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine.
• Palm Springs: It is illegal to walk a camel down Palm Canyon Drive between the hours of four and six PM.
• Pasadena: It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.
• Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street.
• Prunedale: Two bathtubs may not be installed in the same house.
• Redlands: Motor vehicles may not drive on city streets unless a man with a lantern is wallking ahead of it.
• Riverside: One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock.
• San Diego: It is illegal to shoot jackrabbits from the back of a streetcar; The owners of houses with Christmas lights on them past February second may be fined up to $250.
• San Francisco has an ordinance prohibiting "cane games." City officials have no idea what cane games are. But when revising city laws recently, officials decided to keep the prohibition on the books, in case someday, somehow, cane games came back, they were deemed improper and the city needed the law.
• San Francisco is said to be the only city in the nation to have ordinances guaranteeing sunshine to the masses.
• San Francisco: Prohibits elephants from strolling down Market Street unless they are on a leash; It is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear; Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street; It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner; Giving or receiving oral sex is prohibited.
• San Francisco bans any "mechanical device that reproduces obscene language."
• San Francisco prohibits kerchoo powders and stink balls.
• San Jose: It is illegal to have more than two cats or dogs. -Ord. 7.08.595
• Santa Monica: You may not play percussion instruments on the beach.
• Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.
• Temecula: Ducks have the right of way to cross Rancho California St. at all times.
• The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons, setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.
• The city of San Francisco holds a copyright on the name "San Francisco." It is illegal to manufacture any item with the name without first getting permission from the city. Since the Supreme Court upheld the copyright, San Francisco has had an annual $300 million surplus every year.
• The Santa Monica, Calif., City Council recently proposed that men be allowed to use women's public restrooms when there's a line of three or more at the mens' room, and vice versa.
• Women may not drive in a house coat.
• You can be fined $500 if you bother a butterfly in Pacific Grove, Ca.


In Washington, DC:

• In Washington D.C. it is illegal to post a notice in public which calls another person a 'coward' for refusing to accept a challenge to duel.
• It is unlawful for small boys to throw stones, at any time, at any place in the District of Columbia.
• The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.
• The U.S. government says it's a crime to give false weather reports.


In Maryland:

• In Baltimore, it is illegal to wash or scrub sinks no matter how dirty they get.
• In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."
• In the entire state of Maryland, it is illegal to give or recieve oral sex.

In Kansas

• If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.
• In Kansas City, KS, saying the name "George Washington" without adding the phrase "blessed be his name," can land you with a fine of up to fifty cents.
• In Wichita, at the intersection of Douglas and Broadway, all motorists are required to stop at the intersection, exit their vehicles, and fire three shotgun rounds, before continuing on their way.
• It is illegal to hunt whales.
• Topeka: The installation of bathtubs is prohibited.

In Georgia

• Kennesaw: Every head of household must possess a firearm of some kind.
• You have the right to commit simple battery if provoked by "fighting" words.
• Georgia has 75 laws on how to build rice paddies, even though the state has only one rice farm left. Rice was the state's No. 1 crop before the Civil War. But right after the war, a hurricane destroyed all the paddies and ponds. It was too expensive to replace them without slaves, so the Rice State began growing peaches, peanuts and other crops.

Thus the "rule of thumb"

Baldwin Park: Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.

hah, pretty funny

Yeah i was going to say, Rule of Thumb. Exactly. I knew this damn state was messed up.

boondock saints is an awesome movie.

back on topic, in my city Allentown,Pennsylvania